The Monkey-Banana Reduction by Watson Thomas (Heathen Short)

The Monkey-Banana Reduction

Heathen Short #8
Author
Watson Thomas
Translator
First Edition
2025
Heathen Edition
2025
Refreshed
Pages
74
Heathen Genera
Arriving Soon-ish, Satireality
ISBN
979-8-90075-008-8

Monkeys and bananas, that’s what I reduce the world to.

   Fractals.

      Repeating patterns.

If everything in the binary world can be reduced to a zero or a one, then fractal-up: to what can we reduce everything in this reality, this now?

I am a _______ and that is a _______.

I am a zero and that is a one.

I am a monkey and that is a banana.

Monkeys and bananas.

Everything is monkeys and bananas.

Behold: THE MONKEY-BANANA REDUCTION.

I am a monkey and when I wake up in the morning I roll out of banana and take a banana, then read the banana while sipping a banana before leaving my banana to drive my banana to (capital B) Banana to earn bananas to buy bananas to wear bananas to eat bananas — and if I don’t go to (capital B) Banana to earn bananas, then the monkeys will come and seize my banana, the bananas, and all the bananas.

Watson Thomas — failed filmmaker, ailurophile, psychonaut — unleashes a fractal scream from the edge of oblivion, reducing our obsessions to the primal binary of monkey and banana. Part psychedelic odyssey, part Appalachian war whoop, part consumerist koan, “The Monkey–Banana Reduction” morphs parody into metamodern semi-autobiographical absurdism. Recursive, self-aware, and achingly sincere, this looping, media-saturated hallucination shatters the monolithic wall of our false fetishes — those bananas we hoard as proof of worth — and summons us to a wilderness epiphany where smashing idols is the only path to genuine freedom. A mythic riff on group consciousness and self-surrender, “The Monkey–Banana Reduction” stands as both fierce indictment and urgent invitation: tear down your altars, embrace absurdity, and awaken to life unchained . . . or, you know, don’t.

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Come mister tally monkey, tally me banana.

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